The Dumbest Story Yet
by Don'tkillthetacos
Summary: When sonic and company get stuck in a weird situation, waht will happen? Will it be hilarious. Most Likely. Co-written by the UltimateRose.


In a dark room….

"Where are we?" asks a feminine voice.

"In a room" another replies.

"Thanks Captain Obvious, says the good-looking dude."

"Yeah, keep dreaming."

"Dream of an absolution!" someone sings, randomly.

"Just someone find the light switch." A young male voice.

"Why? I like it with the lights off!" someone says.

"AH! Scrouge!" screams another female voice.

"What?" Scrouge replies, "I was just trying to find the light switch!"

"Yeah, I highly doubt you find a light switch up my as-"

"WHOA guys! Let's keep this T rated!"

"Well doesn't it 'turn you on'?"

Everyone burst out laughing.

"Shadow you're a jokester!" says someone while laughing.

"Hey! I found the light switch"

"Retard! Then turn it on!"

"Hears a mumbling and then there's a light," Silver narrates.

"Dude, do you have to keep doing that?" Sonic asks, "It's getting pretty annoying"

"Silver looks down and then says 'Well sorry!' Silver narrates.

"…shut up," Shadow then replies.

Shadow looks around at everyone in the classroom (FTW!) then asks, "Why are we in a classroom?"

Manic, who was on a desk, stood up on the desk and started singing randomly, again, "Asking all them questions, asking all them questions, why you asking all them questions, making statements, assuming?"

Sonic laughs while Shadow glares at Manic. "Alright, guys really no fighting! We're less than 300 words in, and we need to find out where we are and how to get out." He looks over to Tails and asks, "Buddy, do you think you'll be able find out?"

"Well…," Tails starts, but then looks around the room at everyone looking at him, "I…umm…"

"Buddy? You alright?" Sonic asked, worriedly.

Tails looks around and slowly backs away into a nearby closet and closes the door. "I-I-I fine…d-d-don't w-w-worry."

"Everyone looks around and they all share the same confused face. " Silver continues

"Silver! Please!" Amy begs, "You have got to stop!"

"That's what she said, oh!" Scrouge screams.

"Not helping dimwit!" Rouge exclaims. She takes out her IPhone, takes a picture and posts on Facebook and then realizes. "Hey! I can call for help!"

"Call who? Most of the people who save the world is in here!" Sonic said with pride.

"Yeah, starring the blue hedgehog who almost ALWAYS dies in his games…but never does..." Amy says

"And kisses humans…Do you support bestiality?!" Shadow adds.

Everyone then continues picking on him.

"Why do you have a bald spot?" Scourge asks.

Sonic then replies, "Why do **you **have a bald spot?"

"'Cuz I can and **you **can't!"

"What? That doesn't even make any sense!" Sonic exclaims.

"You don't make any sense!" Scourge yells back.

"YO MOMMA!"

"Hey!" Amy exclaims, "That's my mom too ya know!"

"Aw…forget it!" Sonic exclaims.

Scourge: 1 Sonic: 0

"All of a sudden, a bright light appears, blinding our fellow anthropomorphic BEINGS ..." Silver narrates.

"BEINGS? SO WE'RE JUST BEINGS NOW? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Knuckles exclaims.

"Shhh...I'm narrating 'Silver says', The bright light disappears as quickly as it had come.. And out pops the…Chaotix?"

"I NEED TO FIND ZE COMPUTER ROOM!" Vector comes screaming out of the makeshift portal.

"Kill me now, Dear Lord." Shadow mumbles.

"OKAY!" Charmy screams as he prepares to attack Shadow until he sees Cream sitting alone in a desk eating a BLT. He instantly stops what he's doing and flies over to Cream. "H-h-hi Cream!" Charmy stutters.

"Oh, hi Charmy!" Creams exclaims, while she munches happily on her BLT.

"Where she get that from anyway?" Sonic asks. "Hey Cream have any chilidogs in there?"

Cream fishes around in her HUMONGUS bag looking for chilidogs, until she pulls out 21 delicious looking hotdogs covered in chili. She throws the batch to Sonic and a plate randomly pops up in his hand. The chilidogs land gracefully on the plate in a pyramid.

"And the judges say…?" Rouge asks.

"10!" Knuckles says.

"10!" Charmy exclaims.

"2" Scourge says.

"What? That was perfect!" Sonic protests.

"Mmm…wasn't feeling it.." Scourge replies.

Sonic shrugs his shoulders and starts chowing down on those delicious chilidogs. Amy looks over disgusted saying, "Sonic! You know, those things are bad for your health. They can harden and narrow-"

"She said harden" Scourge interrupts while laughing.

"Shut it, Scourge! It's getting really hard to tell that we are related. Anyway, they can narrow your arteries and you can be diagnosed with atherosclerosis which occurs as a result of a buildup of fatty deposits along the-"

"OMG, you're like…smarter than Tails." Sonic says, not affected the least by the information given him that can ruin his life.

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE, IS SMARTER THAN ME!" Tails randomly pops out the closet to say that while snapping his fingers and rolling his neck with his lips poked out. He looks over to Charmy who is trying to flirt with Cream, but desperately failing. He struts over and says in a ghetto tone, "uhh….What you think you doing?"

"And that's what makes people wonder your gender." Shadow says, making Amy and Rouge giggle.

"At least people don't make racist remarks about me!" Tails shot back.

"What do you mean?" Shadow asked.

"Amy and Knuckles told about what happened!"

*Flashback*

Knuckles, Amy, and Shadow were walking to Tails's Workshop for a monthly meeting to deal with Eggman's whereabouts. Unfortunately, they had to walk through the town centre to get over the workshop. As they were walking through, they heard Knuckles named being mentioned.

"..And that red guy right there is Knuckles the Echidna." The older woman says.

Knuckles looked over proud while poking out his chest.

The child with the older woman tilts his head and turns to look at his grandmother and says, "So there are two Knuckles?"

The three then turn around to look at two, all five of them looking confused. Knuckles then exclaims, "Two Knuckles? I AM the only Knuckles. THIS IS WHO I AM!"

"Bad reference, dude, bad reference." Amy says trying not to laugh. Shadow looks completely annoyed at Knuckles for his outburst and shoots back, "Well, if you keep talking like that, it's going to sound like THIS IS WHO YOU WERE!"

The child looks over to the bickering two then asks aloud, "Then who is the black guy?"

Everyone in the town center stops what they're doing and turns towards the five. Knuckles turns away, Amy looks pretty occupied with looking at her shoes, the grandmother whistles, picks up the child, and scurries away. Everyone looked over to Shadow who was about to blow a fuse. He breathes calmly as his face to turns blank. Everyone is quiet. He then bursts out, "I AM SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG. I AM THE ULTIMATE POWER AND LIFEFORM. THIS IS WHO I AM. I TAKE ORDERS FROM NO ONE AND I AM NOT FAKER. DEATH TO ALL WHO OPPOSE ME!"

The crowd proceeds to run around screaming as if it was the apocalypse. Shadow is growling menacingly as Knuckles backs away slowly and Amy, who's been recording the whole thing since the child came in to the scene, quits recording, takes Knuckles' hand, and runs like there's no tomorrow.

*End of Flashback*

Scourge and Sonic immediately burst out laughing, while Shadow looks at Amy, "You recorded it?"

"Well, yeah! You wanna look at it? I have my phone right now." She says as she takes her IPhone and goes to the video.

"We do!" Scourge and Sonic exclaimed as they rush over to Amy and she gives them the IPhone.

A few minutes later…

"…DEATH TO ALL TO WHO OPPPOSE ME!" the IPhone screams as Scourge and Sonic proceed to fall on the floor laughing.

"Don't you guys think that I will make an awesome model?" Rouge asks.

"Don't you think that's quite random to ask?" Amy asks.

Rouge didn't pay Amy any mind and repeated her question, "Don't you guys think that I will make an awesome model?"

"Yeah…for Playboy!" Scourge screams out. And the whole room erupts into laughter, while Rouge looks over to Scourge (haha, that rhymes 'Rouge looks over to Scourge') mouthing, "I will beat your a-"

Sonic then stops laughing and says, "Remember, T Rated!"

"Okay! It's T rated! You CAN curse."

"But they highly recommend that you don't."

"Who's they?"

"Well them" Sonic says, as he points to the readers.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You broke the fourth wall!" Charmy accuses.

"Okay! But they have breaking fourth walls before you even got here!"

"Sonic, be specific, who's they?"

Charmy: 1 Sonic: 0

"Sonic then turns screaming as he sits down in a desk and puts his head down." Silver narrates…again.

"SHUT IT, SILVER" Sonic yells.

Silver looks around and says "Silver thinks about this and realizes he doesn't care and the Iblis Trigger slams his head on the desk."

"You know now that were on the subject, wouldn't Elise be the Iblis trigger?" , said Amy

"Shut up, Amy! Just shut up! I can't stand that game don't you dare bring it up again!" yelled Shadow who was already ticked off with Amy.

"Or you'll do what? Yell your name and that you're the Ultimate?!" said Amy.

"Can you all please quiet down, I am trying to meditate." said Espio

"Sorry Spo, and of course I apologize for me and the so called ultimate life form." Said Amy

Shadow glowered in the corner, while Scrouge replayed the video. "Wait did you just call him 'Spo'?" asked Sonic no longer interested in the video

Amy nodded," Well you see what had happened was, I had just meet him and I didn't know his name and Vector said Espio, but I thought he said S-P-O, so I just started calling him Spo." Explained Amy.

"How can a black hedgehog have a white son or decedent." Asked Charmy.

"Random question, much?" Knuckles asked.

"What is wrong with you?" asked Sonic "That is a very bad thing to say, but a good question to ask."

"Well, the reason I asked that is that I heard that Shadow and Amy had Silver." Said Charmy

"Then there was a gasp and silence fell over the- wait did you just say Amy and Shadow made me or are my ancestors?" said silver.

Charmy nodded and looked at Shadow as if he had the answer.

"That is impossible, my son would be 5000 times better than that waste of a being." said Shadow.

"Come on, Shadow don't be so harsh it's not his fault he's inadequate." Said Amy.

"Hey thanks Am- wait am I really inadequate?" said Silver.

"Well, you did trust a dude with no mouth that could speak." said Sonic

Everyone groaned.

"Aw, that's low dude." Scrouge said

"And Amy..", Shadow starts, "Don't let me get started on you!"

In a split-second, Amy's hammer was wedged into Shadow's head.

Everyone looks down at the fallen hedgehog in silence…

"Hey didn't Amy and Silver date." said Sonic, while everyone went silent. Even Espio stopped meditating to listen.

Amy laughed nervously "Well….You…. see…" she timidly started off, then she got mad, "listen here, I am not his mother, Rouge is, it makes so much more sense."

"What?" Rouge asked, looking up from her phone, FINALLY.

"Yeah, it has to be Rouge because my little sister wouldn't THINK of doing anything of the sort with…_STRIPES._" Scourge said.

"Thanks…" Amy says, looking at her brother realizing that's the first helpful thing he's said all day.

"What? What's wrong with me?" Shadow asked, completely offended. "Wait. Nothing's wrong with me. I'M THE ULTIMATE-."

"Loser!" shouted Vector, holding two bottles of liquor.

"Whoa! Didn't I say keep it T rated!" Sonic exclaimed.

Clearly fed up with Sonic's 'T rated' business, Rouge stepped in, "T rated MEANS 'Suitable for teens (13 years of age and older), with some violence, minor coarse language, and minor suggestive adult themes.' So there!"

"Well…that makes sense, since Scourge and Shadow made some 'suggestive' things in the beginning." Cream says, while taking out filet mignon with a side of caviar.

"Where does it all go?" Sonic asked, looking Cream's direction.

"More like, where does it all come from?" Scourge says.

"Who knows?" Shadow asked, clearly confused as everyone else.

Scourge walks over to the computer on the front desk, sat in the chair, and started typing. Shadow walks over and looks at what Scourge is doing and smirks, "Wow, Scourge that bored?"

"Probably looking up por-" Rouge starts.

"Whoa Rouge!"

"Whoa Sonic! Shut up."

Scourge looks over the girls and smirks, "You ladies ready for…pickup lines?"

"No. Don't do that to them." Amy says, knowing where he gets that stuff from.

"Don't think you'll be left out Rose." Shadow says, that smirk still plastered on his face.

"Rose? ROSE? Really? I am really getting tired of that! Just call me Amy, damn!" Amy screams.

Everyone gasped.

"Wow Amy I am really shocked… and proud of you!"Scrouge exclaimed

"I thought it was going to be Shadow who cursed first!" Sonic added.

"You also thought Nicky Parlouzer was a cool name. Oh well you were wrong." Amy said

Sonic gasped, "That was a secret."

"Not anymore." She said, closing the conversation.

Amy:1 Sonic: A big fat 0

Sonic began to beat himself with the plate he used for the chili dogs.

"Casera, casera,ahhhhhh,casera,casera." Sang Manic.

"You are talentless, shut up." says Shadow.

Manic huffs and the rest of the guys surround the computer, except Vector who was totally wasted. Soon Manic joins in. After a few seconds, all of them are either smirking or chuckling. While this was going on, Cream was enjoying a McDonald's Mcnugget Happy Meal, complete with a sprite. The guys were whispering, while the girls were playing angry birds on their phones, except Cream. Finally, Scrouge broke the silence.

"Hey Rouge, you must be in the wrong place, The Miss Universe Contest is over there." He said

Rouge smiled "That was actually pretty nice."

Then it was Shadow turn "Amy,-"

"Oh, Ultimate Rose and Don'tkillthetaco, what did I do to deserve this kind of cruel and unfair punishment?" asked Amy as she looked to the sky.

"Don't worry its one of your favorites" reassured Scrouge.

"If I had a rose for every time I think of you -." Said Shadow.

"I would be walking in my garden forever" finished Amy. "I've heard most of them, so don't be offended if I-."

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! HOLD UP! Who's been telling you these pick-up lines?!" Scourge asked, completely angry.

Amy looks over to the side and chuckles nervously, "umm….no one?"

Scourge looks at her suspiciously and responds, "Mmmhm.."

The guys continue they're take of pick-up lines on the girls…

"Hey Cream," said Tails "I lost my phone number and address, can I have yours?"

"Oh, sure," said Cream as she took out a piece of paper, wrote her info, and gave it to Tails.

"Everyone stared with a face filled with a mixture of confusion, hilarity, and just plain disbelief." Narrated Silver.

"I gotta try that one day." Said Scrouge.

"Guess you've never heard that one, huh? " Challenged Sonic to Amy.

"No, I've read it, it's just so…..desperate I would never finish it." Amy said with a bored expression.

"I know what everybody is going to say." Amy continued. "Sonic is going to say 'Hello, I'm a thief,

I'm here to steal your heart.' Manic is going to sing 'You must be a parking ticket, cause you got fine-fine

-fine written all over you." Then she dramatically gasped, and continued "Knuckles is going to say 'Your

Like a dictionary- you give my life meaning' Charmy is going to say 'I'd like to give you

CPR' Espio is going to say 'You must be a ninja cause you snuck your way into my heart' Vector is going

To say 'I must be lost, I thought paradise was east of here, and (sigh) finally Silver will say 'Are you lost

ma'am, heaven is a long way from here." She said finally finishing with a triumphant smile.

Sonic didn't like that one bit. "Yo momma so hairy she got a trim, and lost 20 lbs."

Scrouge got in Sonic's face and said" Yo momma so dirty that even the swamp creature told her to take

a shower." Everyone started to laugh.

Then Knuckles joined in "Yo momma so nasty she made the speed stick slow down."

Soon everyone joined in the fun. So many jokes were coming out they couldn't tell who was telling and

who was laughing.

"Yo momma so greasy she cooks bacon strips on her face." Said someone. Soon all you could hear was

Laughter. Then there was a bright light.

Silver recovered and narrated "Once again, our anthropomorphic beings are waiting to see what is

Coming from the bright light, and out pops…. WTF! THE LITTLE KID AND GRANDMOTHER FROM THE

VIDEO!"

Amy walked up to the little one and said."Hey, buddie I'm just going to ask you some questions and you

answer them okay?" The child nodded its head in understanding. Amy then handed her IPhone to Rouge.

Rouge knew what to do and started to record the converstation. Amy asked "The black and red guy?"

"Knuckles." Replied the child.

Amy shook her head. "...ok, but you thought the red guy was Knuckles, right?"

The child nodded. "mmhm." Rouge laughed.

Amy took a deep breath. "But there can't be two Knuckles, right?"

The child looked at Amy with a confused expression ,"But..b-b-but there is two Knuckles."

While everyone was laughing , Shadow and Knuckles were glaring. Amy "(laughing) no, there can't be,"

The child, who still looked confused asked, "So who's the black/red guy?"

Amy tried to keep her voice clear "(high pitched voice) so good! (normal voice)...th-th-"

Rouge was still laughing. Amy finally said. "Th-that was Shadow, ok?"

The child nodded and slowly losing the confused expression "So who's the red guy?"

Amy smiled "That's Knuckles." The child nodded" So there's only one Knuckles and one Shadow-"

"Yes." Amy interrupted. Rouge just laughed. Amy then turned to Rouge and said "Stop it and record."

The child addressed Amy. "So the black/red guy is Shadow." Amy nodded "Yes." Child nodded "ok."

Amy was now scanning the room. "Alright someone else...Tails...is he a boy or is he a girl?" asked the child.

The child thought a while about this "...it's a girl." Tails jumped on his desk. "What!?"

Everyone except tails was cracking up. Tails stomped into the closet.

Amy who was still laughing "Even though I just said HE!" Everyone was still lauging.

Scourge, who had a struggling voice, said "I told you nobody knows!"

Amy addressed the child "Why you think that?"

(From now on the child's name is child)Child shrugged "Because...sounds like a girl." Everyone laughs.

Rouge agreed "You're right he does!" Amy shook her head. "Anything else?"

Child shook its head. "Nope."

Amy thought of a new topic "Ok, What do you think about Amy, i.e. me?"

Child thought about this "...Amy's a girl..." Rouge laughed "That's good!"

Rouge piped in. "Do you know what she looks like? Do you know who she is?"

Child looked down "Uuuuuuhhhhh..."

Rouge laughs "I'm sorry."

Child finally said "Uhhhh...she's a rabbit?"

Everyone but Amy laughs. Amy shook her head. "Nooo. I'm a pink hedgehog, k?"

Child nodded "k...Sonic Hedgehog, Amy Hedgehog..." Amy shook her head. "...no."

Everyone laughs. Amy sighs "It's not Amy Hedgehog..and he's not-he has 'the'...like Finn 'the' Human, he's Sonic 'the' Hedgehog..and Amy, is Amy Rose."

Child smiled "THE HEDGEHOG"

"No, I'm not married." Amy yelled

Rouge "Yet,"

Amy shot Rouge a wicked glare then looked at the child. " N-n-n-no-no,I only gets that title if I marry one of the..five, six of 'em"

Child nodded "So, mm, What color is she?"

"Pink." Replied Rouge.

Child "Oh."

Amy soon got bored of the child and gave Rouge a thumbs up. Rouge then gave Amy back her phone. "Okay, as fun as that was we really got to get out of here."

From the closet Tails said, "Amy's right I wanna go home."

Then suddenly the Omochoa appered. "To escape, push harshly on the wall with the closet.

"What, you mean I sat in here with a bunch of idiots for around 4 hours and all I had to do to leave ie push on the wall." Roared Shadow.

Then, just as quickly as it came Omochoa left.

Sonic sighed, "Okay guys help me push on this so I can go run." All the guys, including Tails, help sonic push the wall which fell over, to reveal they were right outside of Station Square. Soon everyone went there separate ways except for Amy and Shadow.

"So, what do you think about that little family comment about us?" asked Shadow


End file.
